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During Holiday Season of the year 2022,
Santa Claus visited Darling Brand Makery, impromptu.
Drinking our whiskey, his cheeks bright red,
“I’ve brought you something kooky,” He said
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“It’s a cow of a color that’s far from low-key
A purple cow, from the street of Cherokee”
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“Some call her Violet, some call her pink;
I call her purple—it depends on the light, I think.”
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“I’ve brought her to Darling, so look after her well—
With that (and one more cookie) I bid you farewell!”
With that he was gone, leaving behind
A confused purple cow in a bit of a bind.
There was wonder abounding and much spilling of booze
As the Darling team tried to understand her moos
Then quoth Harris with a bourbon slur:
“I think she wants US to milk HER!”
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And sure enough, ten udders were there
One for each of us without needing to share
We each got to work and filled up a mug
Milking all that we needed for a deep chug.
“Wow! Gee wizz!” We heard Robb holler
For the milk had a most unusual color
Twas a shade of mauve, or violet, or plum
Twas purple, in short, what a strange outcome!
Angela leaned in close and gave it a sniff
“OMG!” She acronymed, “What a whiff!”
Matt had a sip, “it tastes kind of like Rye—
“That’s good, I guess,” he said with a sigh.
The team drank deep and quickly got wrecked
When what should we discover, but a side effect?
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For the purple milk was more than libation
It proved a profound source of inspiration!
And so began a night of festivity
Dedicated to unbridled creativity
Long did they work, each driven to new heights
And lo! Was Darling filled with such delights
Far beyond what ordinary mortals might see
(Okay, they were banner ads and concepts for TV*)
*Also: social carousels, e-blasts, promotional direct mail and one totally rad print poster from Peter
Who knew that in order for the work to crank
We need only have sipped on that purple drank?
In the aftermath of this explosion creative
All of Darling lay in a state most vegetative
And when we awoke, as all sleepers must
We discovered a sight most terrible, most unjust
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“Where’s the art?” Jake burped, aghast
“I thought Tim’d done some work, at last.”
Maggie considered, and solved the riddle:
“We must have dreamed it all and done very little!”
We needed alka seltzer, so we looked around
And saw we lay on unknown ground
“Where are we?” Panicked Tim,
“Wot’s this building we find ourselves in?”
‘Twas was strange and magical
And, with desks and chairs, surprisingly practical
There were alien sculptures and a glass mosaic
It’s fair to say there was nothing basic
Antiques and wonders and some crap too
It even contained an additional loo
“This,” Brett declared, “Is that place next door!
The Purple Cow, was it all just a metaphor?”
So the team stood and gazed around the Purple Cow
Said Blake, “Yup, must be, guess this is ours now.”
To celebrate this acquisition, we wrote you this verse
We even made it rhyme, for better or worse.
It’s thanks to our clients we could rent this space
Your support, your commitment, built our workplace.
Together let’s grow and achieve our dreams
Until the Purple Cow splits at the seams!